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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?